Dear Amy: I am an adult in my 30s. I’ve recently been thinking about a classmate I had back in high school. This person had a condition that I would describe as a “nervous tic.”

A memory keeps coming up where I feel I may have mocked this person once.

I myself am struggling with a similar “tic,” so you can imagine how I feel if indeed I did hurt this classmate.

I feel like I should reach out to this person and make things right.

However, I discussed this with a current friend one evening as we walked down memory lane. They suggested that maybe it’s best not to bring this up; perhaps this classmate is doing better and I may bring up some old memories that the person may have forgotten (or would rather forget), and my comments could make things worse.

What do you suggest I do and how should I go about it? — Want to Make it Right

Dear Want: It is never a mistake, and never too late, to make amends. Don’t avoid this, just because it is challenging. Doing so will further expand your compassion and ease your guilt.

You should reach out to this person, privately, and tell them that you’ve been thinking about them and that you feel sorry and want to apologize for comments that you and others might have made in high school.

Don’t tell yourself that this person has forgotten verbal slights or bullying in childhood and adolescence. These events sear through a person, and even if they have moved on and prospered in adulthood, they won’t have forgotten.

Dear Amy: I was shocked that you would suggest to “Heartbroken Mom” that her 13-year-old daughter might want to learn to play poker as a way to become independent.

I hardly think that gambling is a good idea for a young person. — Disappointed

Dear Disappointed: Poker is a card game, not a fast track to Vegas.


--- Open for discusion